Always Looking Forward

I asked Tom Nardone to write a story for my blog and he happily accepted please welcome him for those of you who do not know him

Always looking forward

Always looking forward is a philosophy lived by for years. It was my father who first told me this and I have never forgotten it. He said, “Tommy the secret of being happy in life is to be always looking forward to thinks you enjoy”. I have found this to be true in my own life. I always try to have something down the road or on the horizon to look forward to.

Currently I have tickets to two rock shows, I have a vacation coming in just a month, I have a book due out in a couple of months, and I am looking forward to some other less significant things in my near future from which I can draw pleasure. I really look at the things I do not wish to do as the cost of the things I want to do. If the things you want to do are important enough than the cost doesn’t seem so high.

I enjoy the quiet time with my wife in the morning drinking coffee while we are on our laptops. We laugh all the time as we share one thing or another that we come across during this time. This is something I am always looking forward to. There is a cost associated with this and that is my job our mortgage on all the other crap I wish were not necessary. To me, it is worth it all to get these moments with her. I think about is sometimes at work and then it makes it easier to press on.

I suppose it is an ADHD characteristic, but I spend a lot of time thinking or (day-dreaming) about the things I am looking forward to doing. I am always looking forward to something. I do this while I am doing things I don’t enjoy. I used to wonder; what if life was such that I could just fast-forward through or skip everything I did not want to do or experience? I would have skipped school entirely, as well as every day at every job I ever had. I suspect I would probably have been dead of old-age years ago.

Sometimes, focusing even on small things, helps me get through the day. While at work I am always looking forward to leaving. I will focus on how many hours I have been there or how many hours until I get to leave. I always know how many more days I must work until my next day off. I see them as just short little races. I always know how many more days it is until my next day off from work will be. I find myself saying, “Just two more days until I am off for two days in a row”. Always looking forward to these things is usually enough to get me past my feelings of irritability.

It is easy to focus on the things in life which are negative or bad. I find myself doing this, and it is often my default response to things which I dread. Always looking forward to things is not always easy. The most difficult times for me, is when something I dread is on the horizon. It seems to loom over me daily and I am constantly reminded of the fact that something unpleasant is in my future. This is the toughest part of this process.

The unpleasantness of life is sadly a part of life. There is no denying it is a source of trouble and irritation. We get angry about having to go to work. We get angry when we have to fix something around the house, or deal with family problems. Having something fun in our future, which we can be always looking forward to, may be the only thing to keep us sane.

For me it is sometimes a conscious effort. After hearing of anything unpleasant in my future, I will begin thinking of something fun or happy I can use to get past it. It is not always easy and it is not always possible.

I think the best way for me to manage the things I dread is to simply realize the truth. If it were not for the truly bad things I have to deal with in my life, the good things would be far less significant. Sometimes at the end of a period of immeasurable sorrow, the good things in my life are just that much more pleasing. Perhaps a feeling that I have earned them is the reason for it.

I am Tom Nardone and you are welcome.